


How I long for light

by lunarblossoms



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26435455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarblossoms/pseuds/lunarblossoms
Summary: EmetWol Week Day 1: Light"There's something... I should like to show you."Emet brings Zeph back into his recreation of Amaurot for a singular purpose.
Relationships: Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	How I long for light

**Author's Note:**

> Quick notes: This is part of the canon for my WoL, Zeph'yrr Rhenyaia. His end of Shadowbringers doesn't involve killing Emet. Also, Persy is the nickname of Zeph when he was Azem/the fourteenth (short for Persephone) and I headcanon that Zeph and Emet alternate between calling each other Zeph/Persy and Emet/Hades so I use that in this fic (and others that take place post 5.0).
> 
> Fic title comes from the song I know You Know by Asgeir.

When Emet had asked Zeph that morning to accompany him somewhere, the miqo'te had agreed without hesitation. There isn't much else going on while the Exarch and Beq Lugg work on finding a way to send the Scions home, and that aside, Zeph could never say no to Emet regardless of what he asked of him.

So here he is, following behind Emet curiously, unsure of what Emet has in mind while the Ascian leads him through the recreated city of Amaurot. The tall, dark structures loom over them, reaching up as if they could touch the sky, or at least the surface of the ocean far above them, and they cast comforting shadows that are illuminated by the glow of street lamps, keeping Zeph calm and content.

And Emet still doesn't offer any clarification as they walk. Zeph doesn't think Emet would explain even if he asked so he simply lets Emet lead on as he guides him down the familiar streets with a singular, if still unclear, purpose. If he doesn't want to talk about it just yet, then Zeph won't make him; it's truly enough for him just to spend time with Emet like this. More than enough, really.

Warm affection flickers through his chest like a small flame when Emet's hand finds his as they come upon the building that leads to the capitol. Cool fingers lacing between his own, palms pressed together, a grip that tightens with each step. Perhaps his mind is filled with memories of the last time they were here- when Zeph had been all but consumed by the overwhelming light of the Wardens and Emet had tried to put an end to things. It hasn't been that long since then but it still somehow feels as though it happened a lifetime ago, a memory as distant as a dream that lingers in his subconscious. After all, everything is different now.

Or maybe Emet's just feeling sentimental. Head full of the past, recollections of days long gone bubbling to the surface in the city that was once their shared residence. Regardless of the reason, however, Zeph squeezes his hand gently and smiles to himself, satisfied with the knowledge that this place is so meaningful for both of them.

They keep up a steady pace for a while, passing by the occasional Amaurotine shade, until Emet eventually slows down as he turns onto a street that Zeph feels like he vaguely recognizes, though for what reason, he can't say yet. For the first time since they set out, Emet speaks. "We're… almost there. Close your eyes," he says softly, almost shyly, his grip on Zeph's hand tightening once more.

And Zeph nods and does as he's told, eyelids dropping shut so that the only thing guiding him forward is Emet. He feels an anxious excitement buzzing along his skin, anticipation for their destination manifesting into something almost palpable in the air around him. He's not sure what to expect, and Emet clearly wants it to be a surprise, so all he can do is follow Emet wherever he leads. Whatever the end results are, he trusts Emet to make this trip worthwhile.

His heart skips an almost painful beat when Emet comes to a stop, the sound of his footfalls dying away into silence. Zeph doesn't open his eyes immediately, though, waits until Emet clears his throat and finally speaks again, his words vibrating in Zeph's head.

"We're here," he says.

Zeph takes a deep breath, feels the air fill his lungs, and then he slowly opens his eyes.

And all at once, the air is knocked right out of him again. Whatever he might have been able to imagine, this certainly surpasses all his expectations.

He's trembling as he gazes around himself in awe, heartbeat whipping up a storm under his ribs, and he almost can't speak through the sheer power of the emotions overwhelming him. "My... garden," he whispers, so faint the words dissipate like dust in the light that filters through the greenhouse roof above him. 

Gods, this place…  _ This place _ . The number of times he's dreamed of it, of the nostalgic walls and shelves lined with all kinds of plants and flowers, each bloom in its own specific spot, all of his children looked after and protected, safe to grow in a house of glass made just for them. It's been so long… longer than someone like Zeph should rightfully remember. And yet it still feels like home, like he belongs here.

Without thinking, he lets go of Emet's hand and his feet carry him forward. "I remember," he says, walking further into the greenhouse, moving eagerly through the space while his eyes flit from shelf to shelf. Hydrangeas, roses, lilies, hyacinths… Everything is just as it has always appeared in his dreamed memories and like second nature, he knows it all, down to the last detail. "That time I dropped a pot of tulips and you caught it before it could shatter on the ground; and when you told me you loved me for the first time right after I grew my first sunflowers; and how could I forget when Lahabrea tried his hand at creating flowers with me and ended up with a rafflesia, and then he got upset when you wouldn't stop laughing at him over the stench…" His mind is racing, heart warm and surrounded by a nostalgic fluttering like a thousand butterflies have made his chest their home. "And this spot! This is where I found you asleep when I got back late that one night because you were waiting for me… Gods, you were so cute, I couldn't stand it. Almost as cute as that time the hanging blooms decided to unleash a rain of petals onto your head at the exact moment you walked underneath and it took forever to pick all the pink out of your hair." Scene after scene plays out in his mind, practically simultaneously, and Zeph can barely sift through them as he looks around the garden in sentimental delight.

He only realizes belatedly, when he feels Emet suddenly at his side and fingers gently brushing against his cheeks at tears he hadn't even noticed were falling, that he has, in fact, started crying.

"Oh," he says, scrunching his nose slightly. "I suppose I.. was more homesick than I realized." He laughs a little, the sound shaky and quiet.

"Persy," Emet says, and the tender affection in his voice is apparently the breaking point. Zeph is full on sobbing before he can stop himself.

There's an exasperated fondness in the crease of Emet's brow as he steps closer and pulls Zeph into his arms, allowing Zeph to bury his face in his chest until the tears have run their course. It takes a few minutes of Zeph carefully picking apart his memories and getting a firmer grasp on his emotions, allowing the steady beat of Emet's heart to bring him back and keep him calm, but he at last manages to stop crying after a few deep breaths, feeling much more in control. And the only emotion left is a gentle, encompassing happiness, as warm and as soft as Emet's embrace.

"Hades," Zeph whispers, once he's able to speak again. He clenches his hands into fists, grasping at Emet's robes as he looks up to meet Emet's gaze. Liquid gold blinks back at him, sparkling like stardust in the night sky. "Why isn't there a shade of me here? Why is there no Persy?"

At that, something flashes across Emet's face- pain at first, and then something more gentle. "I… tried," he replies, his arms around Zeph tightening, pupils flickering away and then back sheepishly. "I made you, just as I made everyone else… But it felt wrong. Empty and false." A vague sadness seeps into his voice, that reverberates through Zeph's body as he continues. "It was a pale imitation of you, my dearest flower. Merely a glint of a spark, when you are the entire light of the sun in its radiance. I could never hope to capture that... so I gave up."

Zeph can nearly see the image in his mind, of Emet alone in his recreation of Amaurot, carefully rebuilding every aspect of the city that he loved with all his heart, and the moment he considered creating a shade of the man Zeph used to be. Fleeting hope that it might bring some amount of comfort but knowing deep down that it will only hurt more, will only make things worse. The heartache, searing and sharp, for Emet must have truly felt alone in that moment. Nothing but shadows clinging to him like cobwebs, keeping him in the darkness, with none of Persy's light to drag him back into the sun. It hurts to know that Emet was so lost without him, and for so long… But at the same time, they're together again now, and Zeph knows that not even death will separate them. He'll do whatever it takes to remain ever at Emet's side.

And Zeph does the only thing he can think to do now: he pulls Emet down and kisses him with everything he has, with every inch of his soul. He thinks he can feel Emet's heartbeat in his fingertips, as erratic and wild as Zeph's own, and Gods, he loves this man so much he almost can't handle it. He must be the luckiest person in the world to be blessed with such a lover. To kiss him like this, to hold him and feel his warmth, to be here with him after lifetimes and eons and forgotten dreams, in the very garden that he himself created from his own aether… Nothing else could ever compare.

When he releases Emet from the kiss, the Ascian leans down and rests his forehead against Zeph's, his breath warm against Zeph's cheeks. "Thank you," Zeph says quietly, allowing himself to be cradled against Emet's chest with all the tenderness in the world, as if Zeph is the most precious of treasures. "For bringing me here. For giving me back the part of me I didn't know I was missing… Thank you for everything."

Emet's face is rosy, the tips of his ears tinged pink as he hugs Zeph tighter. "... Thank you for remembering," he replies, just as quietly. "Thank you for finding your way home to me… and for bringing back your light."

Zeph hums. Emet's warmth is all encompassing, spreading into every inch and every fiber of his being. "I'll always come back to you. I promised you long ago… and that's a promise I intend to keep."

However long they spend like this, just standing together and holding each other in the garden of dreams, Zeph can't be sure; but he does know one thing for certain. He'll love Emet forever and ever.

And perhaps.. Perhaps he might want to start up a new garden.


End file.
